We’ve been moving into an apartment this week, with all that entails. (More thoughts on that later.) Among other ‘welcome-to-the-real-world’ adjustments, we have no internet access. So, if anyone out there’s still interested in reading random ramblings from this trip we’re on, please pray that I will find an easy way to handle that challenge. For a noise addict like me, no TV’s gonna be one too...lots of quiet time for reflection. But I do have a lovely fountain splashing outside my window.
During this time of transition, I’ve thought a lot about the inherent fragility of things. ..especially life. This was scribbled during one of those musings:
fragility
earthen pot
or porcelain bowl
holding sinew
thought and soul
lightly balance
on rough shelf
(quiver with
essential self)
until the rumbling
of the earth
dislodges from
precarious berth
and shaken to
extreme-most edge
the vessel
tumbles off the ledge
broken, shattered
contents scattered
all that mattered
spilled and splattered
onto the filthy floor
rough hands with glue
cannot undo
the damage done
the maker is the one
who must restore
(I promise not to inflict much more of this type of thing on you....there’s just been no time to write.)
Thank you for your faithfulness.
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Welcome
...to those who have recently joined us.
A little background information:
On April 21, 2008, my daughter, Katherine Arnold Wolf, experienced a major AVM rupture in her cerebellum. A model, actor, and mother of a six-month old baby boy, she collapsed in her apartment at Pepperdine University, where her husband Jay was completing his last year of Law School. Against all rational odds, a brave surgeon at UCLA, Dr. Nestor Gonzalez, elected to perform an extremely difficult 16-hour-long surgery. She was not expected to live through the operation; the prognosis was that if she did, she would most likely remain in a coma or in a persistent vegetative state. Over half of her cerebellum was removed and 7 cranial nerves were damaged in the surgery to remove the AVM and hematoma in her brain. Her brain stem was completely engulfed in blood, the cerebellum had herniated into the spinal column , and there were multiple aneurysms.
But...
She squeezed the surgeon’s hand the first day.
Miracles still happen.
This blog is my journal of her ongoing recovery and the many lessons I am learning from it.
If you would like more information, you are welcome to read the “Journal” entries on our Caringbridge site:
www.caringbridge.org/visit/katherinewolf.
We are very grateful for all of you who have chosen to accompany us on this strange journey and for those who continue to intercede for Katherine’s complete restoration.
Bless you, one and all.
9 comments:
I'm one of those who is committed to reading your "ramblings". Write when you can, and in the meantime, try to enjoy the silence. :)
I've been coming here often, waiting to hear from you :) I too am a noise addict - I have the tv on almost 24/7 (I'm not watching it that much - just have to have it on in the background) and am an internet addict... I believe God has a purpose for everything - even something as little (or big!) as having no internet for a time... I can imagine it's particularly difficult to have the quiet time right now to reflect on things. You really do learn a lot though, when you stop, be still and just listen. I hope you'll still find ways to share your writing with us so we can know how to pray for you. I love your "scribbling" - it's beautifully raw. He will restore.
I'm a lurker on your blog; I come here often to check on Katherine's progress, but rarely comment. You already know that many prayers are with Katherine and all of her family and friends at this time, and I can't think of much else to say. I worked with Jason at the Baptist Building in Montgomery and have heard Dr. Jay teach many times, so I have been keeping up with updates.
But after reading this post, I just have to comment. I want you to know that I can feel the raw emotion through your "ramblings" and while God is speaking to you in your time of struggle, He is speaking through you - to me - about my life being turned upside down by far lesser circumstances.
Please bless us with more of your writing!
It's me again... your ramblings also brought to mind a post I had read on another blog recently about smashing pottery as a form of therapy. To me, you have put into words what her pitcher photograph represents.
http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2008/05/past-and-pitcher.html
Kim~
Again, thinking of you all the time. Katherine is improving so much--I want you to "meet" a friend of mine who has been through a similar experience. Zach suffered severe brain trauma in a car accident a few years ago. He was moved to the Shepherd Center after waking up from a five week coma. I contacted him once I heard of Katherine's condition, and he relayed to me that now, two years later, he can still feel things on his left side reconnecting and becoming that much easier. He also completed running in a marathon recently, even after being told he would never walk again!
I would love to send you before, during and after pictures for inspiration and comfort--let me know of your email address if you'd like. Mine is stevensonkls@gmail.com
His caringbridge'esque site is www.thestatus.com Type in Phillips and general1 for the passcode. Everything will seem very familiar, grim, positive and at last triumphant. He also began writing as well, which is wonderful to read and experience his perspective.
Just to pass that along, as well as lots of love and cyber-hugs.
xx,
Katie Long Stevenson
Kim, sometimes the things that we just let come in life are the most valuable. I loved it. Read it over and over and found something new each time. It's beautiful and powerful. Your words have helped me through a most difficult time.
Wish I could help you in some way. We are recovering also from sickness. MM has orientation week after next at College of Charleston. She changed her mind about Syracuse and got a deferral for a year. She is happy about it.
Maybe we will connect in person soon. Perhaps Madeline and I will come out there after I get the last bird out of the nest....
Dear Kim and Katherine,
A few years back, I had what I call a "God hallucination".
I was praying and worshiping in my living room when I saw in my mind's eye a beautiful, priceless vase.
This was no ordinary vase.
A craftsman of the highest caliber created this vessel. At least three feet tall and made of unique materials found no where else on earth. A prize unlike any other.
The rarity of this vase was like something found in a lost shipwreck. Not another like it on the planet.
Instead of being appreciated for its beauty its owner cherished its usefullness. Instead of holding beautiful flowers, this vase was drug across the floor full of water. Tipped and Poured. And life continued.
As the vase was used, wear and tear appeared. A nick here, a crack there. Then a chip fell off. Holes appeared and its usefullness deminished. The cracks expanded until finally one day the vase is dropped and shattered into a million pieces.
A beautiful priceless vase lay in a heap of rubble on the floor. Useless. Refuse. Just another mess that needed to be cleaned up.
Then I saw the spirit of the Lord. His light glowed around the pieces.
His spirit lifted each piece. His energy placed each sliver in the correct location. And as the vessel reformed there were now million of tiny lines where each piece fit snugly against it's neighbor. These lines that held the vessel together radiated His loving power and might.
Every piece outlined in Awe and Wonder.
Every crack an expression of His Miracle.
The vase now an expression of God's Healing, Love, Compassion and Mercy.
The Glory of the Lord obvious to anyone who gazes upon it.
End of vision.
Know that I pray for your complete restoration. As I believe I am being restored I believe he is restoring you. I pray for reactivation of all neural pathways. I pray for God's energy to penetrate each one of the trillions of cells in your body bringing his healing love to every sliver of you.
I pray for His breath to be your inspiration. Breathe Life into Katherine's lungs, Dear Lord. Calm the storm of the mucal cells and bring peace and balance to the volume of mucous they produce. Hold Katherine together, Lord. Where she is weak be her strength.
I pray that calcified nodules diappear and reabsorbed into her body and go back into the bone from whence the came. I pray for muscle cells to appear as the nodules dissappear. Functional muscle cells that contract upon command.
I pray for all functions for swallowing and speaking improve every day. I pray functions is restored quickly so the trach can be a memory.
I see YOU holding her hand and helping her walk. I see YOUR hand inside Katherine operating the many muscles that control her mouth, tongue and voicebox.
Help us to trust you. Give us the peace that passes understanding for the journey.
In Jesus Name I Pray.
A Captive Who Has Been Set FREE
Please inflict much more- poetry is the essence of good writing. You have something to say. Above all- you have something to say!
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