Thursday, October 9, 2008

Public Exposure

(*WARNING: Do not read this unless you have nothing else to do. It is self-indulgently long and contains little pertinent information about Katherine’s condition. If you choose to read it anyway, you will understand why I got those teacher’s comments in second grade.)

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Recently, I got my first somewhat negative comment about the blog from someone other than a family member. Victim of low self-esteem that I am, I instantly went into a spiral of self-doubt. WHY AM I DOING THIS???

I am from a background that doesn’t quite approve of public exposure. It is with pride that many of my compatriots quote, “Grandmother always said you should only appear in the paper twice... at birth and at death.” Weddings are a fairly recent (20th Century) concession. My sweet mother, who is a young 81, suggested soon after Kelly started it that we needed to “Get off that Caringbridge Thing so someone else can have a turn.” It simply is not considered genteel to put one’s self forward, demand attention, expose one’s private business.

So, WHY AM I DOING THIS???

First of all, I need to tell you that I’ve never really written anything before except for some bad poetry and inappropriate letters to people like my daughters’ ex-boyfriends. Although I’ve taught high school English, I was not an English major in college. I think most of us who love to read harbor secret fantasies about writing, however, and I am no exception. I just never got around to it. If someone asked me to write an Advent devotion for the Church newsletter, I’d be paralyzed by “writer’s block” and would agonize until well past the deadline over what to say. I’d write a sentence, change a word, change another word, and finally scratch out the whole sentence. I would read the entire thing over again each time I finally did manage to tack a new sentence on to it. It would be a lengthy, labored process.

Talking has never been a problem, however. My grandmother was one of five sisters named Converse, and that is what they did...wonderfully well. I grew up listening to their highly descriptive, endless, epic stories. My father, who was half Converse, was also a remarkable raconteur. As a child, I drifted off many nights to his amazingly realistic sound-effects of WWII missiles exploding over Germany as he scurried from foxhole to foxhole.

Evidently, the legacy of excessive verbiage has passed on to me as well. In elementary school, I would get straight A’s in everything except for “Citizenship.” (Okay, not always in Math, either.) The mean teachers would give me a “B” in that box and write, “Talks too much with other students” in the comment space. The nice ones understood and let it slide. And I told stories, too, weaving dramatic sagas in the ‘cloakrooms’ of my old elementary school whenever the class was left unattended. Some of my baby cousins claim that they are still receiving therapy for the ghost stories I told them in the dark closets of my other grandmother’s rambling century-old white house.

Words stream through my mind in a constant flow, usually so fast that I can’t catch them. I know I don’t catch the best ones...I’m not quick enough. I’ve always been fascinated by words, and I believe there is great power in them. THE Word spoke Creation into existence, and we enter into the creative process with our words as well. Human words are a pale substitute, however, for the intimate heart communion that one day will render them unnecessary and meaningless. In the meantime, we struggle to share our stories, our experiences, our hearts. It seems to me that communication is one of the main reasons we’re here: to commune with one another...to share communion. In the movie “Shadowlands,” a former student tells C. S. Lewis, “We read to know we’re not alone.” Words are tools we use to share the human experience.

I’ve found that the written word is sometimes easier than the spoken. The fear, self-consciousness, and possibility of misinterpretation that may be obstacles in spoken communication disappear in writing. For several years preceding Katherine’s AVM rupture, I felt as if I were speaking a foreign language that no one could understand. In a place of terrific physical (and emotional) pain, I retreated into isolation. Some of what I was experiencing was simply not articulable, so I gave up trying to answer truthfully when people asked me how I was. But this forced me into a new intimacy with God that made the suffering much more than worth it all. For the first time since my 8th grade diary, I began journaling. When I was physically able to write, I talked to myself and God on paper, sometimes pouring out words that I couldn’t speak to another living soul. Sometimes He answered back, and I wrote that down, too.

It was all preparation.

The second full day after my arrival in California in April, I lay in my bed at UCLA’s Tiverton House with my grandson asleep beside me and began typing a letter to my friends. Words just poured out onto the electronic page of my laptop...I was talking by typing. In my mind, I was addressing a specific audience of friends who like to know the details. (As do I.) When I got to the hospital that morning, I asked Katherine’s friend Lauren how to send out a group email. After helping me with that, she suggested setting up the blog so other friends, whose addresses were not yet in the new laptop, could also have access. Thus was the blog born.

I wasn’t completely sure what a blog was.

Sometimes it takes my breath away to realize how many people are reading my private thoughts now. I wonder who most of you are. A few have become friends I’ve never met. I am blown away that so many are interested. I can’t allow myself to think about it as I spill my guts (and my family’s) out onto virtual paper in the privacy of my little apartment in LA. But it really gives me something to consider when I’m in Athens and need to make a grocery store run. I might run into someone who’s known me for years, but not really known me at all. Until now.

Guess I’m out of the closet.

In some ways, it’s ironic that I’ve put myself in this position. No one’s kids have been lectured on the Evil Dangers of the Internet as much as mine have. I am sickened by the “Jerry Springer/nasty ‘reality’ TV show/Facebook” need (obsession) we have in this society to expose ourselves to public ridicule at any price. (And voyeuristically to enjoy the negative exposure of others.) I realize that, in some ways, I have entered the realm of that culture I abhor by the use of this vehicle of communication. I acknowledge the many intrinsic risks...and the terrible vulnerability to which they expose us.

For now, I’ve decided that it is worth it.

Early on, when the implications first began to dawn on me, I tacked that "About Me” caveat onto the page in about three minutes while sitting in the noisy lobby at UCLA. I am so glad that I did. It is vitally important to me that anyone reading this understands that I don’t consider myself a “SuperSaint” or an expert on matters spiritual. (Or anything else.) You’ll never catch me running for political office.

But I will tell you this: In the middle of the most paralyzing fear of my life, the words simply began flowing out, unlocked from the self-conscious paralysis of a lifetime. The effortless ease with which they came was supernatural, just another of the many peripheral miracles of that mystical time. In the deepest place in me, I knew that this was what I was being called to do “at such a time as this.”

Later, when a moment of self-doubt first crept in, I prayed about it. This is what I heard reverberating through my spirit: “Just keep it real. Keep it true.”

So, at least for now, I very belatedly welcome you all to this story...Katherine’s story, my story, our story...chapters in the big one. I believe that every single human life is a fascinating story...and each of us has a sacred story to tell, for we are all created in the image of the Creator of the Big Story. All of history is His Story. Our stories are rivulets that flow into the great River of Life itself that surges from the Throne. Every tiny drop is important...every little tear. As Jill Phillips sings, “Everything matters if anything matters at all.”

Because death exists, suffering is universal. In the words of our hometown boys (REM), “Everybody hurts.” Although I’ve heard several comments that writing the blog must be “cathartic” or “therapeutic” for me, I hope it is more than that. It is my prayer that the stories I share from this painful time in the life of my family may in some way help others in their own times of suffering. It is a blessing for Katherine and for those of us who love her to know that her pain is not wasted, but somehow used for good. In turn, we have been richly blessed by the stories others have been brave enough to share with us. For instance, I recently received a beautiful, particularly poignant letter from someone whose sister was killed by an AVM rupture just a few years ago. Strangely enough, the sister’s name was Catherine; she left behind a 2-year old child and a grieving family. In her letter, this precious young woman wrote, “...I would have loved to help her get better, the way you are helping Katherine. How joyous it is to see the pictures of Katherine as she fights to regain strength and mobility. I love seeing James in his mother’s arms. In a way, by seeing Katherine’s progress and seeing all that you all are doing to help her, I can imagine me doing that for my Catherine. Through reading your blogs, I am able to play out, in my mind, the scenario I had envisioned for my sister when she first fell ill, and I thank you for that opportunity, for the peace it gives my soul.” (No, thank you, dear girl. Your story reminds us to be truly thankful for every day, no matter how hard. We will keep you and your family in our prayers.) We bond together in sharing the grief and pain that are inevitable components of life on earth.

In attempting to ‘keep it real and true,’ I realize that what I’ve actually been doing in this sharing of stories is testifying. Webster’s tells me that the stem is the Latin “testis,” witness. Testimony is defined as “firsthand authentication of a fact: EVIDENCE.”

I can tell by a few of the comments I’ve gotten that some of you are in the same place I was in before this happened. Believing, but doubting. Wanting to believe that it’s all true. Thinking we have to try harder, be better, in order for all the promises to prove authentic for us. Subconsciously holding on to some of our core beliefs like hypotheses that need testing, rather than authenticated facts. Wondering, wondering...is my personal faith strong enough? Would it hold up under the biggest test? (I barely make it through the small ones.) Will these ‘spiritual theories’ be supported by evidence when tested by fire?

This is the gist of my personal story...this is ‘that which I have witnessed firsthand and can therefore authenticate’:

I am weak, wavering, inconsistent, complex, and conflicted. I cannot will myself to stay strong, be selfless, keep the faith, fight the fight. I identify with the Apostle Paul in Romans 7 when he confesses, “I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway...” My best is not good enough.

I cannot hold fast to what I know is true.

But...

the Truth holds.

He holds fast to me.


He holds us all.

...and in Him all things hold together.



That is my public testimony.

36 comments:

Brenda See said...

Amen. What more to say? Your writing moves me. . . to a different plain altogether. Thank you for sharing your self. It means more than you could imagine.

plilr said...

I concur with what Brenda says above me--Amen and thanks again for sharing. For those of us that really want to help all of you and Katherine during this time, reading all of the updates does make us (me, anyway) feel like we are a little bit involved. I really admire your courage to share and fully express your feelings, even with people that you don't know. I pray and send positive vibrations to Pomona every day!!

Much love, Desiree

JourneytoFamily said...

I'm really sorry you got a negative comment on a previous post. As someone who knew Katherine from church, but is not involved in the "Young Marrieds" group anymore (we've been married 12 years and time to move on!), I'm grateful for the chance to keep up with your blog and your struggles as a family and know how to specifically pray for you all.

Elizabeth said...

So I've been reading your blog since the beginning and I don't know you nor Katherine nor Jay. I am a sister of someone who went to First Baptist Montgomery. I pray for Katherine and keep up with Katherine as I am also a young new mom and I was terribly saddened by her situation. PLEASE don't be discouraged by negative comments. PLEASE don't stop being real. PLEASE know that what you have written on this blog has touched many people in many ways. IF ONLY more of us were real! Thank you for risking it and being vulnerable! Doesnt it only affirm the scriptures that you would have conflict while risking it. All the more reason to press on, sister!

tatiana said...

He is the strongest glue out there.... no 1 will ever match Him in keepin' us 2gether.... keep on w/ your testimonies, 4 they feed our souls w/ much needed hope.... pour your heart out & u will b heard & u will b prayed 4 & welcomed in2 our own hearts.... that is why u r doin' this....
this is your legacy....
positive prayers,
tati

tinkerbells mom said...

Amen. Once again I am blown away by your words. I too have been reading your blog since the beginning. I do not know you nor Katherine nor Jay. I heard about Katherine through my daughter Katie who is a 3L law student at Pepperdine. All I can say is thank you for showing us that we need to be thankful for every blessing, to not take anything or anyone for granted, to appreciate the small things and to cheer each other on. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. We are all better because of it.

linde said...

i am one of those "strangers" praying for you guys (my best friend katie bentley went to samford with katherine) katherine's pain is definitely not wasted! thank you for your authenticity, i believe we serve a great King who creates and enjoys are emotions. i believe He desires ALL of our emotions. thank you for sharing. praying that you feel safe in our Savior;s arms.

Heather said...

Dear Katherine's Mom,

I don't know your family, but Mary Catherine Caldwell, who knew Katherine from Samford, is in my small group here in DC and keeps us posted as we pray for your daughter and family. I found your blog thru caringbridge and find the Lord encouraging, convicting, and moving me at your words. In my own journey of authenticity with my God and the world around me, your realness, spurs me on!! So keep sharing and confessing...To God be the glory- and isn't that what it's all about?!! I will keep praying for you all. I love Katherine even though I don't know her :)

-Heather Lively, Washington, DC

truth4nothing said...

Allow me to join the triumvir chorusing amen. We are sisters, how else can you explain it? Oh yeah, the writing- it's very good, and it's a never ending novel. The benefit for you is our prayers, and for us it's your great faith.

Ashley said...

Kim,
Thank you for continuing to keep the blog you started. It is indeed a testimony, like you say. It has encouraged me to be brave in the face of my worst fears (realized last week), and your family has provided an example to us of how to walk by faith through the fire. It's not easy, and it's always messy. But it's why we need Jesus and nothing could be more beautiful. I do not know any of you personally, but I always check your blog so that I know how to pray for you. Blessings and peace to you and your sweet daughter Katherine.

Kristin said...

I do not know you or your family, but I have been moved to tears many times while checking in on Katherine and your family. I found your blog through the caring bridge,and found the caringbridge on a blog I stumbled upon. Katherine has changed my life, she has made me appreciate every second with my young son, and appreciate each and everything in my life including walking, and swallowing. She is truly a remarkable women, and because of that I am a better wife and mother.

Nicole Robinson said...

Kim, I am one of those mysterious persons drawn to your blog. I am from Montgomery and have known of the Wolf family for years, but know not one personally. I found myself heartbroken and praying for Kathering. You see, I have a little girl, born Oct 4, 2007, and I cannot tell you how many days I have watched her playing crawling, smiling, etc. and thought Katherine is missing this. She doesn't get to get down and crawl with baby James or hold his hand as he toddles. I hate that I am saying this because you do not need to be remined of such a thing, but it is real and it is Katherine's reality right now. Life is hard. Every day has a challenge. We are so often faced with life and death but ignore the significance of it all. Your testimoney is real. It is hard, just like life. I am so glad that you have become vulnerable for so many to see. Katherine's story, your story has changed my perspective, and in turn has changed my life. I am praying for you, Katherine and all of your family. In the midst of that which is a seemingly unbearable fire, the ore is transformed into jewels. May your life be filled with jewels. God bless.

Stephanie_MyWares said...

Please continue writing Kim.
Everybody does hurt! My Dad has recently been diagnosed with cancer with a very grim outcome. He is my "Knight" and day...
Your wonderful words keep me out of my hole, especially the floorboard of the car where I frequently want to dive when heading to treatments!!

Stephanie C.

MaryLouis said...

I have been wanting to comment on your blog for some time, but as someone who is not comfortable with public speaking (or public writing for that matter), I have withheld from writing anything. But after reading about the negative comments left for you, I felt compelled to write. I don't know your family personally, but I was at DeSoto at the same time as Katherine. I have been following her story and your blog since Day 1. I have always thought that you are the most talented writer, and in agreement with some other people on this site, think you should consider writing a book. You words are so moving, and I respect that you are always so open with your feelings and emotions. Katherine (and the rest of your family) has been an inspiration to thousands of people! Whether you can see it or not, I think you have a true gift, and you have used this tragic time in your life as a way to reach out to other people who may be suffering, and that is truly admirable.

Preppy Chemist said...

I can't tell you how much your words (which are truly a testimony to me) have touched me. I found your blog recently and feel so blessed for having done so.
I grew up in Montgomery but I don't know Katherine or Jay personally, and hadn't heard of what happened from my family until I happened upon this site. The feelings and faith that you share come across so clear and true in what you write. I can identify with your description today so much.
I feel like I'm being entirely un-articulate (is that a word?), but please know that your words have touched me and reminded me that my Father loves me and is there for me. I can't tell you how much I needed to be reassured of that. Thank you.

Whitney880 said...

I LOVE YOU KIM and miss you so much already being in Tx. I can't believe anyone would say something about your writing. it is your public testimony. I had such a great visit with Katherine and Jay before we left and caroline consistently asks about kat and sweet baby james. You are an inspiration and I am changed for the better b/c of you and katherine and your whole family and what a witness you are. All my love,
whitney davsi

tricia said...

kim...thank you for keeping it real...and challenging me and any others to keep it real! It blows me away that someone would make a negative comment regarding one of your posts....may that person never have to walk a mile in your shoes...much less try to articulate emotions during such a life changing journey!! You have not asked us to read...we have chosen to read so please...continue to use this how you see fit...and thank you for blessing me greatly by your honesty in sharing....continuing to pray for you ALL!!

Jessica Ranjbari said...

I much prefer to speak to people through writing, unless they are close friends... so I understand you wanting to keep a journal during this journey you're on... you can look back on this difficult time and see God's MANY miracles and what He's brought you through. Please don't be discouraged by any negativity - there are SO many people (myself included!) that are extremely blessed by your writing... and your story - Katherine's story. We all love Katherine and are praying for her full recovery... I'm always waiting for the next update. :)

Ginny Evans said...

Kim, you may never know how many hearts you have touched with your blog and your Faith, your honesty, your "realness" are an inspiration to all of us who keep up with you, Katherine, Jason, Baby James and the entire family. I have never met any of you, but I feel a closeness through prayer for all of you that is precious! You are a Mother who has been through an incrediblely hard phase of life, a journey none of us would pick to go on, but you have been REAL through it all.........who knows which one of us will one day fall back on your words and be able to walk through our own journey a little better because of the way you are walking through yours. I am grateful for your blog and for your "realness" and I thank God for the opportunity to pray for all of you. We have seen a Miracle in Katherine and God is not finished yet. He will continue until He makes perfect what He has begun!! Thank you Kim for being "Whose You Are"!!!

candycarrillo said...

I remember when we were discussing "The Tyranny of The Urgent" at lunch eons ago. I was picking your brilliant brain about how to spend "leisure time", once the girls were both driving. "Leisure" is a joke when one has children- we all know a mother's job is NEVER done. Since I also was without home help, I truly didn't have real leisure time, but I took it anyway. Anyway, I remember you asking me, "Is it loving? Is it eternal?". Much of mine was not. Self-centered instead, but you gave me much pause as to how to try to adjust my attitude. I often wonder if what you and Brooks have been through with your physical problems were a pre-test for the challenges you have faced and come through with flying colors with Katherine. We used to refer to much of it as, "Sharing in His sufferings", but NO ONE ever imagined as much as this has been. Yet, not only have you ministered to Katherine and extended family, but your amazing blog has blown away so many of us, you have to know just how much it means to read your raw feelings without any judgement whatsoever.
I love you all,
Candy

cheryl said...

Thank you, Kim, for sharing this testimony. It has ministered to me more than you could possibly know, and to countless others, I am sure. Praying for you and your family always.

Julie Powell Caldwell said...

... But I press on to take hold of the for which Christ Jesus (first) took hold of me. Phil. 3:12

writingwork said...

I've felt guily at times for visiting the blog to receive encouragement. I pray for all of you but, truth be told, I visit to get a dose of real faith in action. My son is James' age and is named James. He had open heart surgery in June and the road has been a challenge. In my efforts to find kindred souls, those wrestling out their belief, I came across your blog and was lifted. Some blogs are narcissism personified and portray a hunky-dory family life. And then there's brave souls like you that share the highs, lows, and the ever-stretching will to believe. I applaud your willingness to share, to testify and to lift souls unknown to you to greater faith. May you never put the opinions of man over the desires of God to use you to bear witness to His mighty provision.

Anna said...

kim, i don't know you or katherine personally either (i actually went to youth camp with "father-in-law" Jay maybe 15 years ago?...once!) but i've read your blog from the start (and i admit, check it almost daily to see if there's an update). you are truly a fabulous writer, so poetic in your words; but what draws me to your words is the fact that they contain such truth, such reality! do NOT allow Satan to feed you those lies through others, that you shouldn't be doing this. you ARE making a tremendous difference in SO many lives because of your willingness to share your thoughts, hurts, and joys but most importantly share how God is changing you amidst these circumstances. remember our purpose in life isn't to please others, but to please our heavenly Father in everything we do(obviously telling myself this as well!) :) you continue to be in our prayers, and i will continue to check your blog daily...so keep writing! thank you for pointing me toward Christ. we love ya'll! (oh...and ps: go Dawgs!)

Kristen said...

I appreciate your writing! I agree with all the comments from the other readers. I started doing facebook and more "public" forums since my aneurysm, and it has made me feel very vulnerable and strange at times. In fact, I was just debating this week, if I should stop all of it, and then I read your post and I had to smile....maybe a little longer.

I am thankful for you because you have encouraged me! So until you think the time is write, keep writing as there are many waiting to hear what you and your family are learning. and when there are negative or strange comments, ignore them, but perhaps that is hard because it seems you are sensitive take care. Kristen
PS. I was wondering if Katherine gets bad headaches from the surgery etc.. I know you've mentioned the swallowing, trying to stand, but I was wondering if she had bad headaches?

ef said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
oby dupree said...

KIM, FIRST OF ALL I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING YOU DO THAT MUST BE THERAPUTIC FOR YOU AND MOST OF ALL FOR THOSE OF US WHO CAN'T BE THERE WHERE YOU ACTUALLY ARE.(PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY)I FEEL IT IS MOST UNSELFISH AND PERSONABLE FOR YOU TO SHARE THIS WITH ALL OF US. FOLLOW YOUR HEART ONLY AND LUCKILY IF YOU DO WE'LL CONTINUE TO BE WITH YOU IN THIS JOURNEY AS THE LORD WOULD HAVE US BE. MUST LOVE AND ADIRATION, OBY

oby dupree said...

much love and admiration....I'm getting old!!

ef said...

Kim,

It took me a while to figure out the process to post, then I couldn't respond as I was intimidated by your incredible gift with words and to make matters worse, I didn't even think I could write as well as those who did respond...even had to delete one post. So I've got you beat in the low-self esteem department. But then...someone criticized your blog. Well, the battle lines are drawn. I'm forced to come to the defense of my new best friend...eloquent or not.

You have touched the lives of many with your raw emotion and stark realism. I heard about Katherine from friends of friends and as I read your blog I came to greatly admire your grit, determination and faith, in the light overwhelming odds. I too have had some serious medical challenges with my children which left me with a personal dislike for those who say 'Your suffering has made me so thankful for my good life.' I'm sure there are those who found my darkest hour a convenient time to 'count their blessings.' I don't take comfort in the misfortunes of others.

But you have opened my eyes to be thankful that He is always present--even when I didn't want to acknowledge Him or refused to believe that He could be present even in the bleak night of the worst ICU scenario. I was carried through many a dark cloud, although I was wailing and kicking all the way. Patience was not my strong point back then. But despite it all, God continued to love me, and wait while I 'came around' He performed miracles inspite of my earlier indifference.

As a matter of fact, I have used your blog as a reference to write my Statement of Faith to be ordained as a deacon and I want to thank you on a practical level for sharing your testimony and giving me inspiration to write mine.

I know you won't keep up the blog forever but would you give us a warning so we can prepare for closure? Maybe you could plan to post your Christmas letter each year. For those of us who feel as if we have become part of the family, it would be nice to 'keep in touch.'

trish tillman said...

Kim, God gave you the gift of writing long before you knew you had it.I remember one time many years ago, you subbed for me at school. That day, you wrote a note for me about my class and your experience with the students using all 15 Wordly Wise words while they took their tests!(Anyone who has "survived" Wordly Wise knows what skill that takes.)I was amazed then at your ability to write and be so "on target" with your words. Today, your words bless me each time I read about all that is happening with Katherine. There are many of us who check your blog each day and truly NEED to hear those words! Thank you.

suzirockett@earthlink.net said...

WELL IF THESE NOTES DON'T KEEP YOU WRITING...Did not see the negative post but look how many lives you have touched and blessed...mine included. I go often to see if you have a new post and most of the time read them through a flood of tears. There are many of us who stand and kneel on the side lines of your trials...you give us insight into how to pray and then a look into our own souls as well.
Kim that you share in times such as these is God driven...It means so much to so many.
You "rock" our worlds.
Bless you for being so real
Praying for you all.
What a big huge blessing to receive an email from Katherine.
In my constant prayers, Suzi

Cindy Sobel said...

Kim, Your words give life and hope. Keep going my sweet friend we will continue to journey with you. Love you lots

About me: said...

Thank you so much Mrs. Arnold. Please continue to share your story, Katherine's Story and your family's story. You are all an inspiration. I've said it before (althought I doubt you remember me), please write a book. You truly have a gift!

Tami said...

Hear! Hear! --- I just love all of the words of encouragement that you have received! How little did the naysayer know that those negative words would actually prove to do the opposite. It is evident by the outpouring of love and support you have received, that your writing touches and inspires so many people and that negative comment has lost its power to defeate. It has actually provided the opportunity for us to let you know that we depend on you to keep us up to date on Katherine's progress from a mother's point of view. Seriously, how else would so many know how to specifically pray for you all?? I too am an unknown person to you and your family - another friend of a friend story who heard and wanted to follow Katherine's progress; and who in the process stumbled upon your blog and has been continually blessed by your wisdom, insight and authenticity. I'm sure your post wasn't meant to "rally the troops" in support of your blog - but how cool that so many people have felt compelled to use the opportunity to encourage you in the same way that you encourage us! Thank you, Kim, for sharing with all of us. I'm hoping that you wrap your self in all the love and support that is being sent to you and that you feel the prayers for you, Katherine, and the whole family -

Kim Godawa said...

Dear Kim,
Your writing could not be more effective - please don't worry about what comments you may receive. When I first heard that comment, I thought of David's writings in Psalms.

Take Ps. 88 for example, "O Lord, God of my salvation; I cry out day and night before you.... My soul is full of troubles and my life draws near to Sheol" --is how he starts out!" That is why I love to read your writings, as it echoes the heart of people crying out to God and His concern for us. Too many Christians live in 'theory of faith' (myself included), and not the reality of its testing. That is what you have done - shown your weakness and His strength. Please don't stop as you challenge us all to think twice about our lives, our purpose, and our where our hope lies. I continue to pray daily..

Bravehearts said...

Dear Kim,

Thank you for your openess and honesty. I find it very refreshing and very encouraging. It makes me feel more like it's okay for me to be me and to share my struggles and joys with people. The fact is we all struggle, not admiting it or sharing it with the world, doesn't mean it isn't true. Thank you so much for your blog!