Friday, May 8, 2009

An Old Crack(ed) Pot Like Me

All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your words of encouragement have given me renewed focus and “fresh fire.” I feel humbled and honored. Your comments brought out some very hard, healthy, refreshing, needed tears…followed by a sense of peace and purpose.

I appreciate everyone who took the time to write…but especially those for whom it meant abandoning their comfort zones. I just love it when this blog becomes a forum for the exchanging of ideas, rather than an on-going monologue. I get sick and tired of myself. I love to hear your stories, too.  They bless us all in many ways. 

Thank you so much for your input on the blog entries. I thought everybody would probably pick the same few.  It was interesting to see how many different ones struck chords with people…which must bring me back to the conclusion that these musings were not written by my hand alone. (Further evidence that God does indeed use his ‘cracked pots’, as Patsy Clairmont says, not just his gorgeous porcelain vases!) It is amazing to hear accounts of how God has used my faulty human words “for His greater purpose in all of our lives,” as “masterdesigned” put it.  It comforts Katherine to know that her devastating situation has been used for good and growth in the lives of others.

Early on, a close friend (who is more spiritually mature than I am) tried to help me understand the phenomenon of this thing. She explained, “This is what happens when a natural ability is ignited by the Holy Spirit.” I hope my quoting that statement will not lead to confusion. My point is that I know myself pretty well, and I know that this wouldn’t have happened without a great deal of supernatural help. I don’t believe my words alone would have had the impact your comments indicate. I thank God that he has somehow broken through, in spite of my weaknesses. But I do believe that every single member of the family is called to be his eyes, his lips, his hands. Even me.

Even you.

I feel that I’ve come to know some very compassionate “kindred spirits” through this vehicle. I am grateful for that. This crazy planet can feel like hostile territory sometimes. You have helped to restore my shaken faith in mankind.

Last, I thank those of you who acknowledged the difficulties in keeping any kind of consistent posting schedule. Technical difficulties aren’t the only challenge. Sometimes it seems like all the forces of hell are trying to prevent me from writing.* But I will when I can.

One day at a time…

I love you!

Gratefully,                                                                                                                                                Kim

 *For instance, as I was typing those very words, the apartment fire alarm went off. Being California, it sounds kind of like a Banshee woman in extended labor. It makes dogs go insane, and one older lady in the complex has mentioned a lawsuit having to do with hearing loss. In this case, it just woke James up, about 15 minutes after I put him down.  Oh well, I was almost finished.

 …except for the P.S.: If you haven’t had a chance, the polls are still open on the blog survey. Just follow instructions on previous blog.

Oh, and since I’m probably going to have to return this laptop to its owner this afternoon :(, I'm going to go ahead and post something I wrote a few days ago in the aftermath of Katherine’s 13-hour facial re-animation surgery. 

Just a sec...


Blessed said...

Okay, so this is my favorite ... well, one of my favorites! Truly, all of your posts have ministered to me on some level. But, I mostly appreciate your authenticity - wrestling with the Christian life as we know it "should" (such a dreadful word) be, or is often presented to us, but then fighting through the gritty reality of life on this planet. I love how you present what we know, then talk about how it really is sometimes (hard) and ultimately point us to what matters most ... the hand-picked-by-the-Holy Spirit truth that He's teaching you, which blesses all of us! Please keep writing and sharing your heart. Thank you.

Laurel said...

I just want to put my two cents in one more time. Reading through the very encouraging comments I felt pressured for you. "Write! We love you! God is speaking through you! We need you!"

I will be VERY disappointed if you don't continue. And a little surprised. But please remember that your obligation begins with family, "the poor you will have with you always." It is fantastic that you and Katherine are able to use her amazing story to reach so many but a cliffhanger never killed anyone.

We'll keep up on CaringBridge and Facebook and whatever else inbetween posts.

Linda Abney said...

O.K. I'm late in getting this request to share my response to your blog. But, since I am one of those who KNOW you are supposed to publish it for a broader circle of readers, these thoughts won't seem like new information.
There are few people who are so willing to admit their own struggles and, sometimes, failures. I've been reading through the Old Testament and it is difficult to find any "father of the faith" who, at least sometime in their lives didn't exhibit clay feet or downright disobedience. And, in their confessions to our Father were forgiven, loved and used. I think that your blog is like that. You reveal the reality of the dark night of the soul and how God moves in those times in ways we would have never expected. Being challenged to do so I reread most of the posts and asked myself a question I'll pose to you..."exactly which of them do you not believe the Spirit wrote using you as His vehicle?" I guess we all have some which "hit us where we needed" but each of them has wisdom that has been useful to challenge us in our battles. How the Lord will use them further only time will tell. I'll just pray that He leads and that you will follow(something you are doing well).