Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Caress of God

After a good night’s sleep, I woke up panicked about last night’s blog. When I went back to it (thinking maybe I could delete before too many people had seen it), I read the comments already posted. They took me back to Blog #1. I am being carried. I may be flailing around on the ground, but the arms of God come and scoop me up from behind, lift me up high, and carry me on towards the finish line. Thank you for being His arms, His hands, His feet, His lips.

I wonder if any of you are familiar with the writings of Simone Weil. I was reading her Gravity and Grace before this happened. Every sentence is something you can munch on for hours. I became interested in her because of this quote:

“If we really love God, we necessarily think of Him as being... the soul of the world; for love is always connected with a body...Each occurrence, whatever it may be, is like a touch on the part of God; each thing that takes place, be it fortunate, unfortunate, or unimportant from our particular point of view, is a caress of God’s.”

I am going to go back to the beginning now and start collecting memorial stones for remembrance.

I will share them with you soon.

14 comments:

Syd said...

I am so glad you didn't delete that post...thank you for your vulnerability. Bless you today. Please tell Katherine that Syd says Hi and that we all love her so much!!!

Iva said...

Kim,

You don't know me, but in some ways you do know me because I am Jay's sister, Iva, from Texas. I regret that we have not met before now. I have read every word of your blog and have fallen in love with you like I did with your precious Katherine when she became apart of the Wolf family. You are both extraordinary people, and I greatly admire you and Katherine for your deep and abiding faith. I am sure that your pain and heartache right now for Katherine are unimaginable. I feel privileged that we have Katherine still with us to be able to pray for her and for all of you. We are praying non-stop and believing in her full and total recovery that will bring great glory to God. My daughter, Amanda, (Jason's cousin) and I are planning to fly to L.A. during the first week of June. I am sorry we did not come there sooner, but hopefully this is the right timing for us to be there and stand beside you, Jason, and the rest of the family. We will keep praying for miraculous healing, comfort, and mercy for Katherine, Jason, James, you, and the whole family.

Love,
Iva Wolf McLachlan

cin said...

Dearest kimber,
joy, indeed, does come in the morning. But I know that God was singing over you last night (ps. 42:8).
I agree with the cloud of witnesses that Katherine WILL be fully restored and WILL proclaim His goodness to thousands. You will too. This desert has been costly, but priceless. You will never be the same...and in Him that is always good.
You know I adore you...cin

a said...

Dear Kim, I too am so blessed,touched and humbled by your posts...I have sent a card to you and Kathrine today, please know that as I say in my card I am here and willing to have you lean on me.My bible study at church led by Care are all praying. I am holding you up in prayer as well, may this day bless you in rest,recovery, and the knowledge that we are asking God for completle healing and to carry you all in His arms.

Much love Suzi Rockett

Jordan Tree said...

Kim,
I heard about Katherine through my niece, Leigh Ann. She and Katherine went to Athens Acad. together. We went through a brain tumor experience with my sister, so we know what it means to be held up by prayer partners. I have found myself thinking about all of you and praying for you so many times during the day.
I wanted you to know that this morning God laid YOU on my heart. As a mother, I can't imagine what you have gone through. I will continue to pray for Katherine and Jay, but I wanted you to know that I will be lifting you up every morning. I will pray for you neck and back not to hurt. I will pray for you at night to sleep restful and have peace that God will restore Katherine to be the Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Friend, that she was meant to be.
With Love,
June/Marietta Ga

I Think You Should said...

Mrs. Arnold--

I was forwarded an e-mail generated from Samford today with links to all the various websites focused on Katherine's healing.

Please rest assured that sharing your vulnerability with the unknown faces behind the many, many computer screens checking on your daughter does nothing other than make you human. Yes, your faith is inspiring, but it does not hold a candle to your honesty.

Having just devoured Katherine's story from the very beginning in a period of a couple of hours, I am now filled with hope for complete healing.

Thank you for sharing her story--and yours.

Mandee
Newnan, Georgia

Ginny Evans said...

Kim, You do not know me, but I have been following Katherine's story from the beginning and praying and sending request to hundreds of people via e-mail prayer partners to pray daily for Katherine and your family. You are probably one of the most real people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing (and yet we do not know each other) However, you can hardly follow this story and not feel that you are part of the family, praying, believing, trusting as all of you have been doing. I fell into a coma with encephelitis when I was 14 years old and was out for 3 days and nights with fever 106 and doctors told my Mother and Father I would not live and if I did I would be a vegetable. A chain of prayer was started for me in Kentucky and went down to my hometown of Mansfield, La. In three days, I woke up, completely healed, no side effects from the illness and although I was out of school for a month that year, went back and finished 9th grade with my class (something else doctors said would not happen)....I say this to you because miracles do happen. I live to tell you of this one. I feel so strongly that Katherine will one day be completely whole again and will look forward to the testimony she has to give world wide. She is absolutely beautiful and God has a tremendous plan for her. Please know that you are an incredibly special Mother and Katherine is so blessed to have you. I am a member of First West in Monroe, La. where I am a good friend to Cathy Morris. Cathy said she is related to you all and got permission for me to read your blog. I cannot begin to tell you how blessed I am with your account of what you are going through. You exhibit so much God it is amazing and you must know God is using you in ways you cannot imagine. Give Katherine my love!

beth ammons said...

Dear Kim,
I wrote this caringbridge note before I read your last piece on being so raw. My mom had an avm 16 yeard ago valentines day at church. I was a slacker that day and heardjay asj for prayer for her over the t.v. I want you to know that you should never be embarrassed by your feelings, your thoughts or fears. God gives us friends who love us and tells us that we should share them with others. If we had lostened to the doctors, mom would be buried by now. They tell you horrible things she won't talk, never wlak, no trunk control, no speech, etc... and you become numb. Poeple do start to dwindle and life goes on for htem. You're in a hospital practically 24/7. you can become resentful. No one knows how you fell etc... but I do. I have been there through the ICU, rehab etc.. Mom was 46. Daddy died 10 yeard ago at the age of 56 from pulmonary fibrosis of the the lungs. We have had our lumps, but we have also had tremndous blessings! The doctord were not right about everything and And God did for us what he did because he lovves us and he heard our prayers. Should I have been more precific, probably, but we are alive and well today. Please read this entry and know that I can not wait to meet you, this strong woman of God and prayer Warrior. It's just not the natural order of things for amother to nurse her child back to life, it's usually the other way around and i do not understand that feeling and willnever pretend to. But i lived the rest and I know. If yo ever need to vent or talk or cry, you can email or call. There will be a day you will look back on this and really know you made a difference for the Kingdom of Jesus. You have changed my life and I love you for it and don't even know you. The Wolf's can vouch for me. I been around so long I remember when Jason was born. I am usually right (Sin of Pride maybe?) butiknow that God is rocking you in his arms today and will again tomorrow. please read the caringbridge article and remeber I wrote it before i ever read your blo that day. I love you and am oraying for youfrom montogmery hourly. beth ammons

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MONDAY, MAY 12, 2008 07:21 PM, CDT
The LORD God Said"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him" Gen 2:18

Dear Mary Ruth, Jason, and Sarah,

I can not imagine how hard yesterday was for you.It must have been mixed blessings for you all. I will tell you that as I sat in Montgomery, at the 11:00 worship service and watched Jay baptize sweet precious Mackenzie Legrand, Lead a congregation in beautiful prayers, and watch a Mother's Day video that was so touching it could not have been easy for him to watch, much less anyone else, I looked over at Mary Austin sitting beside my Cassie, watched Alex's smile as her older sister sang and saw the pride on their daddy's face, and could not help but think that as I was sitting beside my own mother who had this happen to her 16 years ago how very fortunate we all are. Not for the miracles we see God doing for Katherine, but that we all have each other. I have grown to love Kim and I have never met the Lady. But she is as real and as honest a person as I have read in a long time and I think she has a mighty testimony to tell to some unbelievers! So Kim if you EVER think you're doing nothing but spinning your wheels and blogging for your own self service you are wrong, wrong wrong! God is using you in a mighty way. When we got in the car to come home Cassie turned to me an said, "I am so worried about Mary Austin. She is so tired". And as my heart welled up with tears, because I know she is right, and because I was proud that a 17 year old is insightful enough to pick up on this I said to her.. "Do you remember when you were in the hospital not to long ago and we didn't know if you would ever walk again? Don't you think she was worried about you? And do you rememberb what she did about it? She called you, she told you repeatedly she loved you and she PRAYED and PRAYED and PRAYED. You can do the same for your friend." I have learned that when it feels real bad, it only feels bad for about 20 minutes at a time.... so I think between her and God she can handle 20 minutes don't you?" So Mary Austin know you are being prayed for... I watched Alex, with love and adoration in her eyes for her father and big sister. What a funny precious spirit God has brought to this family. Sarah, your ability to quiet a room of turmoil with your sweet smile and humble demeanor. What a blessing and relief it must be for Katherine, Jason and baby James to have you there in La. with them to simply be there to help and encourage! Mary Ruth I think of you at least every 10 minutes. Your quiet compassion for others, the way you just get in there and get it done. No need to ask, you just seem to see the need and do it. How fortunate for your kids and husband have you as a role model. Jason, the decisions you are making, God has been preparing you for since birth for these, and I am walking there in prayer with you because I know first hand they are not easy.. DO NOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF! Run to the Mercy Seat of Jesus when you all need rest. It's there for you ,open 24/7 just like waffle house! His mercy is infinite and his grace overflows. You may not see it everyday, but trust me you will look back and know that he was there every step of the way. Thank you for being the family you are and the witness you are to so many her and there. ( On a slightly humerous note) According to my National Enquirer and People and O.K. and In Touch weekly, the Globe, Star and US weekly,L.A. could use a little Jesus.( And I could use a few less subscriptions!) I am looking forward to the day I get to meet Katherine and the Arnolds. But mostly I am looking for the day that Katherine stands at FBC and tells her powerful story of God's love and his care for her during these difficult times! She will win souls for Jesus right and left. Jason, I still pray for you more than anyone. You are growing into the man of God you were called to be so long ago and I saw it then. My love to baby James and Katherine. Sorry this was lengthy tonight, but I just felt called to tell you what is on my heart and in my prayers. WE LOVE YOU ALL Beth Ammons (Joey, Cassie and Abbie)


BETH AMMONS jsammons1@charter.net

grey said...

Mrs. Arnold,
I am not sure if you remember me? My name is Kim Spencer but, I am now Kim Finley. I went to the Academy with Katherine and Amie. I love your girls they are so sweet,gorgeous and hilarious. I have not seen or spoke to Katherine or Amie since highschool but, I saw on facebook what had happened to Katherine and I have been checking up on her and praying for her as well as your family everyday.
My sophmore year in highschool my father passed away and my life was turned upside down in a matter of seconds. My life was forever changed. I remember going to FCA and Katherine praying for my family and I. It made me feel so good to know that their were others who thought of me at such a hard time in my life.
I remember at first like you were saying in your blog about how people are starting to go back to their everyday life and you are living in a nightmare and you just cannot seem to wake up. I remember those feelings like it was yesterday.I felt so lost and alone. I remember reading the bible at night or spiritual books seeking comfort and answers. Katherine has always reminded me of an angel from heaven. She is so beautiful. Whenever she would walk into a room her gorgeous aqua eyes would just stop you in mid conversation. I have always admired Katherine. She is so strong in every aspect of life. I listened to her speech on your identity to Christ and it made me think a lot about myself and how I want to live my life in the eyes of the Lord. I am not the most religious person, I do pray to God everynight but, reading your blog and all the updates on Katherine has really been an eye opener for me and my religious views.
I just wanted to write you and let you know that you are not alone. God is with you always even when you feel like no one else is around he is always there to listen. Katherine is such a stong, healthy young women I know she will recover from this horrible nightmare. Stay strong and remember that you are not alone! I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Love,
Kimberly Spencer Finley
chef_k_bob@yahoo.com

ellenpaige said...

You don't know me. I live in Athens and know Tammy Lindsay well. She first told me about Katherine's AVM. I survived a ruptured brain aneurysm eight years ago- should have died several times- grim prognosis- every post-surgery complication possible.
I am fully recovered- back to teaching school- loving my family and friends- living life fully. A miracle from God.
This is what your sweet daughter is feeling right now: frustration and sadness, certainly, but more importantly- a peace that surpasses all understanding- the absolute knowledge that she is resting in God's arms. She feels Him holding her- his presence and closeness are very real to her. I KNOW this because I lived it- still live it.
Each day I have been praying for an earthly miracle for Katherine. I will not stop lifting up her and all of you who love her each day.

ellenpaige said...

You don't know me. I live in Athens and know Tammy Lindsay well. She first told me about Katherine's AVM. I survived a ruptured brain aneurysm eight years ago- should have died several times- grim prognosis- every post-surgery complication possible.
I am fully recovered- back to teaching school- loving my family and friends- living life fully. A miracle from God.
This is what your sweet daughter is feeling right now: frustration and sadness, certainly, but more importantly- a peace that surpasses all understanding- the absolute knowledge that she is resting in God's arms. She feels Him holding her- his presence and closeness are very real to her. I KNOW this because I lived it- still live it.
Each day I have been praying for an earthly miracle for Katherine. I will not stop lifting up her and all of you who love her each day.

Beth Johnson said...

Kim,
I have only gotten to "know" you through your writings on this blog but I am praying for you. My mother attends Katherine's father in law's church in Montgomery.

I had to speak for a womens group recently and they asked me to speak on adversity. One thought flooded my mind as I was preparing:

The Lord will often take us to places we would not chose to go ourselves, leave us there longer than we want to stay but one thing is for certain - He will not leave us alone. His Holy Spirit will be there and His people will be with us also. He will not forget the place He took us to and leave us there longer than we can bear.

So, be of good courage. He is with you and so are His people.

Beth Johnson
Montgomery, Al

Julie said...

Kim,

You don't know me either. My husband and I know Katherine and Jay from church. I too am glad you didn't delete your previous post. We are so blessed by your words and your honest feelings as you go through this journey. Please know that we are going through this journey with you and are committed to praying for Katherine every day.

REL Book Club said...

God bless you for your honesty and your passionate love for your child! I've got a feeling that God is training you for His All-Star Team in heaven! I recently read the following which made me think of your powerful witness as you share your struggle to honor God in your family's crisis:

"Growth is the common denominator between between soul friends. A desire to grow more like Christ - to become more who He created us to be - motivates our lives and our friendships. A soul friend keeps us from giving up or caving in. She points us to the cross. After spending time with her, we want to be more like Jesus."

When you get to heaven, I believe that you meet many who will consider you their "soul friend" because you inspired them to look to the cross for their strength.
I will be there among them!
Cendy